I guess this a small continuation from my last post where I talked about the hope I have…A hope that doesn’t make any sense. A hope that should not be there…
But that is a load of bullshit. No matter what happens to someone, no matter how many times someone tells you to never hope, no matter how many times you tell yourself there is no hope…You always do. There is always this small shiver of hope, even if it’s just lingering in the furthest corner of your head. And you know what? That is good.
Hoping for something good to happen is never wrong. It is how you deal with it and not let it overtake other parts of your life. In my example it’s the hope to talk to a certain person again. I will have this hope every day, but I will never act on it. Because that is when hope starts to become unhealthy. Let’s say you want to talk to a person that doesn’t want to talk to you. What is the worth thing you can do? Message that person. This sounds like a simple step but I can guarantee you, it’s not. It’s a struggle, every day and every second.
I had to learn this. Because if you decide to act on it you not only cause harm to yourself, you also cause harm to the person you want to talk to. And that is the last thing you want if you love someone, usually. To cause that person pain. I will talk about this in another post when I feel like it.
Not that anyone will ever read this, and that’s fine, it is my personal blog and thoughts after all. But even though it’s basically just me crying about being alone again, being an emotional little baby, it might help me in the future to just have this written down. I don’t know. But if anyone ever reads this and thinks “Man, what a fucking baby, man up” or “Stop trying to be a poet, you’re retarded” … Well, that is my opinion and you can have yours. Just…You know…Let me be a crying baby :).