What a dramatic title. Calm down there, weirdo. But in reality, it’s even more dramatic, sadly. How can I explain this without sounding weird…Or corny…Or both…Hm…
There is only one true love in your life. I know that sounds weird and I know that a lot of people say that in their relationship they are currently in – That the woman or man is the one that you will love forever. That you want to stay together forever with. And for the moment, this might be true. But in the harsh reality, the chances are pretty small that its that exact person you are with right now. I hope from the bottom of my heart that he or she is the one.
I have a person like this in my life. This one person that always puts a smile on your face when you think about her. That one person that is always there, even if it’s just in the back of your head. And never ever in my life would I have imagined that this person could love me back – Me, from all people in the world. Why should I be so lucky to not only know who the love of my life is but also to have her as my significant other? I have no idea. All I know is that I was the happiest person in the world during that time, even though it was difficult…
You see, I’m talking about the past here. That person is still in my life. Or rather, still in my heart. Where she will forever stay, no matter what. But I’m not a part of her life anymore. I wasn’t the right one for her. I wasn’t ‘the one’ for her…And that was probably the most hurting experience in my life. It is not her fault that she doesn’t see the same in me that I saw in her, that she didn’t want this relationship as much as I wanted it. You can’t force someone to go the same way you go and you can’t force someone to give you a chance if that person doesn’t see a single way to make it work. And that is totally fine. It is something you have to deal with at one point or the other.
But…It hurts. It hurts more than anything else I have ever experienced in my life. Not only the part where she is gone. But the part where I thought I finally ‘had her’, as retarded as that sounds. Because yes, I did, but only for a limited amount of time. The fact that I was so close to finally be…Happy? To just lose it again…To lose myself again…I think that is the worst. I don’t know if a person can live through a pain like this again.
I have to, though. Even though giving up seems so easy, I have to ‘keep going’. There is more, though. Because sadly, there is always this one thing in my head and heart that will remind me of this. The one thing that will always hurt me, day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. The one thing that will never let me deal with this situation in a proper way.
The hope that one day, she will return.